Saturday, May 21, 2011

We Made a Mix Tape and Italian Vice wrote a big ol Italian!


                                                                                                 art by jen kornder

And here is the Hilarious translation of the article, along with the link to the real deal:

The promoter in Italy are Joan of Arc, people who sacrifice themselves for the noble cause of music. Obviously we are not talking about Toto Riinas organizing the Heineken Jammin Festival: atrocious event that heaps of people gather in the industrial zone outside Venice for worship of the future goals of the phalanx of armed anti-globalization. All with 44 degrees Celsius in the sun but not due to their backpacks Invicta overheated by farts Pomì altered by the Camorra, which has given him to eat the ends of their mother. No, no, we are talking about good and independent promoters who bring groups that we like and usually when they do the European tour, passing through all countries, including Andorra, where you can have an abortion because it is for 20 € Duty Free, BUT NOT FOR ITALY.Therefore, the independent promoter, which, among other poor people live as hermits in the midst of the Indian dead dogs floating in the sewers, fighting with their meager resources to ensnare the groups that do not disturb our intestines so delicate. Of course we can hear Merzbow but if we hear the voice of Jovanotti fainted and we must take back with 3 or 4 bottles of old salts Poppers.Miraculously, a friend of ours named Henry, and us poor poor but not as much as him, we managed to catch the fly, the first Fresh & Onlys Milan, bypassing completely as if we were lepers.So great happiness: This Sunday May twenty-two Shayde, Tim, Kyle and Wymond arrive in Milan with a van headed by legendary tour manager / nurse Kristin Klein, who also takes care of Ariel Pink, Thee Oh Sees and Jay Reatard at the time. Well yes, if you need to kill the Predator Kristin could bare hands to show how fast and strong or even Andrea Bocelli with a gun, just for fun. The group will play at the Rocket and will be so excited to be in Italy, so if you want to wear their T-shirts, handbags or resells them on eBay so Kristin etc. I embrace and kiss each other.Of course you also have to pay € 10 or else the poor promoters who are already poor pious work must move from the sewers to a mass grave. As a further gesture of love for Milan, the Fresh & Onlys did a mixtape, just for us! Each of the four wretched of the Tenderloin has chosen three songs. Three: as the Father, the Son and that other stuff that you salt when you take MDMA. So if you thought Sunday night to stay at home with the / your partner or just to get drunk in front of the TV with a bowl of orange Listerine taste the answer is NO. You must come to see the Fresh & Onlys where the evening will continue with various DJ-including Frederick Bernocchi, our dear friend and collaborator. Obviously if you had planned with a seratina Maurizia Paradiso, two hoes made at the throat to make the best five Moroccans soffoconi and then we can understand ... otherwise there's no excuse Holy shit. Fresh & Onlys I love you.
TRACKLISTShayde:Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - Make me smileEdgar Broughton Band - AphroditeGun Club - Bill BaileyTim:Supertramp - Logical SongSparks - This Town Is not Big Enough for Both of UsELO - Livin 'ThingKyle:Echo & The Bunnymen - Killing MoonDavid Bowie - Aladdin SaneThe Cure - The BloodWymond:Iggy Pop - Some Weird SinDeath In June - She Said DestroyAlan Vega - Jukebox BabeCONSTANTINE THE GHERARDESCA

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